Christianese

My heart stopped last night. Not really, but it felt like it. I was in one of my ‘Dance Classes‘, and after telling the room of ~20 people, whom after 7 weeks of class I’ve deemed a significant percent of the class to be far more knowledgeable in all things faithy, a little story, someone belted out: “You have to pray that over us!”


Huh? Pray what over you? I just told you a story about how my kids kept me up all night, and when I woke up the next morning and started blaming it on God like normal, I stopped and realized for the first time ever this ‘enemy’ you all speak of was much more likely the culprit. This little turn of events in my brain allowed me to continue on the normal course of the day I had planned the evening before, rather than wallow in exhaustion that God is still against me.

So I looked at her with my blank expression, started to sweat, then asked the teacher to help. Her response, “You got this”. More sweat.

(Thought process in my head: What does she want me to pray over her, and why do it in front of everyone… what if they don’t want me to pray a crappy night sleep over them?)

What came out of my mouth: “God, um, I pray that whatever these people are seeking from you, that you’d give it to them, and that they would receive it (Christian word), and agree with it (Christian phrase), and that they would rebuke any lies (Christian phrase) they believe, oh and that you would put a hedge of protection around them (Christian phrase) too, In Jesus name. Amen”.

Sweat. Make joke. Awkwardly fidget. Hope that enough Christianese in one prayer could make it sound legit.

I’m guessing the break through, in being able to discern God might not be responsible for the crappy nights sleep, but rather allowing them, to challenge me not to let my circumstances dictate my demeanor… was the more poignant point she was after.

Hindsight is 20/20.


God, I need to replace my generic prayer for all my friends, mmm kay? Can you please give us gentle reminders from time to time, when you’re allowing particularly undesirable events to occur, that we have the choice to totally foil the enemy’s plans and rock on with our bad (read ‘good’) selves? That would be awesome! Amen. (P.S. Prayer: If you could also let one of my friends teach me where all these strange Christian phrases/words that go in prayers came from, so that when/if I use them again, I actually know what I mean when I’m praying them, that would be great too. Thanks. (First question… can I end a prayer with “Thanks” or do I have to say Amen? What if I don’t put “In Jesus Name” before the Amen, what then? Friend, you can see where this is headed, you might want to clear an afternoon for me :))

3 comments

  1. bringinganahome says:

    Are you there, God? It’s me Kaci. If you’re listening I ask that you show something to my friend Julie. Please show her that there is no formula to communicating with you. And while you’re at it, can you plant some little reminder in her brain that each and every one of us battles the same insecurities that the enemy (Satan, the devil, Lucifer) keeps throwing at her. Oh, and one more thing. Please help her to remind all of us who have the privilege of knowing her that the same power she used to take authority (great Christian phrase) over her precious tired self, is greater than any power said enemy might try to use against us. If you could do that for her I think she’d be greatly appreciative. Thanks for your time, God. Amen!

  2. Unknown says:

    I love you, Julie! God is working in your life and I’m so stinkin proud of you! (stinkin = not a Christian word, but I know God has a sense of humor so I’m gonna use it). Amen.

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