I’m an affirmation junkie. It’s true. Say something nice about me, and I’m pretty much putty in your hands! Case in point, the sales lady at Smooch, lathering on the compliments about how good the blood red lipstick/liner combo looked on me. Two minutes later I had spent $49 on a lipstick combo… FORTY NINE DOLLARS…. on LIPSTICK. Literally seconds after I walked out of the store, reality set in. I’m not a Blood Red lipstick kinda girl, nor do I spend that kind of money on lipstick! Yes, I was going for that ‘vintage’ look for Rebecca’s wedding make-up, but the other 364 days of the year, that color would reside securely in one of my purse pouches, never again seeing the light of day!
I sheepishly had to walk back into the store 15 minutes later, and acknowledge that after trying on a couple different shirts with my new look, I hadn’t actually been able to look at the shirt once, cause my eyes were glued to my lips, and I just couldn’t take it. Luckily the ‘no return policy’ didn’t apply to purchases that were only in your possession for 15 minutes, but suffice it to say the affirmations about me that had so recently been POURING out of her own lips had quickly dried up into a thin line of tightly pursed lips as she struggled through the return.
I’ve been blogging for going on 2 years now, sometimes more consistently than others :). I do it mostly for me, as an outlet for the insanity that resides in my head, but being the junkie I am, its fun knowing other people read it and enjoy it from time to time as well. My dream job would definitely be writing full time. What would I write… who knows… maybe just blogs, but it would be awesome to get paid for basically just having a conversation on paper, cause let’s face it…. I love to talk even more than I love to write.
I find no coincidence in my blogging activity picking up at about the same time as my adult conversational hours took a rapid nose dive! Yes, shortly before welcoming #2 and the subsequent months that followed were some of my most regular posting months. Why? Because after satisfying Caleb’s 11’dy billion word per day quota, and listening to the incessant chatter of Logan as background noise, being able to have a one sided conversation, where the background noise was silence is perfection! It’s like my own personal shrink couch, without the hourly fee!
From the sheer number of mommy blogs out there, I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one who has discovered and is now shamelessly exploiting this form of free therapy. They always say what women crave most is someone to listen to them, without heaping unsolicited advice at them. Cha-ching… jackpot baby, this is it! You can tell yourself, the whole world is listening (even if logic tries to rain on your parade and convince you, that likely only a small percentage of those following you are actually listening, so for me, that might be one person), and then when you want advice, you can tailor the responses you find to those that suit your season of life, beliefs, etc…. by leafing through a few fellow blogs until you find a writer that speaks to you. For example, I follow a few close friends whose stories, struggles, crazy life moments affirm that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, in the thick of this thing called life. I also follow a few ‘inspirational’ writers that I don’t personally know, but whose writing style and stories inspire me to try harder, do better, and believe that it’s possible.
I’m still trying to find that fine line between reading/writing about life and actually living it :). Hopefully some of my ramblings can be free couch therapy to another, and you can be assured, that you are no crazier than me!