I’ve landed myself squarely in a conundrum…. Before I actually BELIEVED any of this faith stuff, I was totally fine telling anyone ‘yeah I believe, I’m just not one of those crazies’, and then went ahead on my jolly way living my own life doing my own thing, right/wrong/whatevs. Now I do BELIEVE it, and I don’t talk about it because I don’t want to scare people…. Cause let’s face it… church people can really be WIERD sometimes! So eitherway you sliced it, I didn’t seem to end up on the right side…. Live a life not really making any attempt to follow Jesus, and tell people I was…. confusing…. or live a life trying to, and not talk about Him at all…. confusing.
I do want to set the record straight on a couple things though, me ‘Believing’ does not translate to: won’t touch alcohol, wouldn’t think of shaking their groove thing to a song that doesn’t play on a christian station, is on their knees with their nose in a bible for 25 hours a day, is suddenly a doting wife/mother/best friend ever/amazing coorespondant/will drop everything to help whenever/whoever/whatever at a moments notice perfect person. I’m sure there are a couple more I’m missing, that I’ll likely get the chance to point out when I make a bone head move, and someone says “I thought you CHAAAAANGED” (cause that’s how I see this going down in my head), and I can say…. “Oh yeah change didn’t necessarily translate to that either… at least not yet”.
This faith stuff is crazy ya’ll, like seriously mind-boggling WTFudge 😉 crazy! Most liberating thing I’ve found to-date…. God know’s when I was typing that, that fudge was not the word that came to mind, and while He might not be “cool” with it, He’s got a really REALLY big long list of other things He’s working on with me first, and that one will eventually come up, but He would be more annoyed with me trying to ‘change’ how I talk so I can sound like I think I’m supposed, cause then I’d be fake…. and He’s got a bigger issue with the F word when that word is Fake 🙂 So we’re just gonna be real, whatever that looks like.
O.K… so you’ve made it this far…. on to the real reason for the Blog….
You guys, August was INSANE… My head is quite litterally spinning which is why I had to write it all down cause trying to make sense of it in my head was NOT working out well for me.
Let’s start with the first week. Aug 1st, our tenants in Texas give notice they are moving out and we have 30 days to figure out how to re-let the house from 1100 miles away. A few days later, one of my very closest friends from out here, and the boys care provider, drops the bomb that she’s moving to Colorado…. in a WEEK. Eight hours after that, we learned that our second pregnancy since Logan was also going to end in a mis-carriage. Not a stellar week in the Alspaugh household.
So to end the month in abject wonder and thankfulness from that start is nothing short of a miracle :)!
God provided a new care provider for the boys, before I even realized I needed one (A girl from my church approached me actually ASKING me if she could watch my boys 3 days before Steph gave her notice, I’d told her I had everything covered at the time…. You know who got the first call when Steph did give her notice!). Caaaa-RAY-zeeee, but so cool too!
The week after the miscarriage we were overwhelmed with an outpouring of love from my girlfriends out here and family/friends from home, they stocked my fridge for two weeks with meals, came and watched chick flix with me, and Kev and the boys were angels as well… may be par for the course for Kev, but the boys… yeah the can run the spectrum from angel… to possessed… so angels for a whole week was a treat! The icing on that cake, was I got to find purpose in what was going to be an empty nursery. A week after learning the room would be empty we actually ended up filling it with a new addition to our family… I GOT MY GIRL 😉 (wait… breath… no baby, no adoption… ok. are we composed again?) Melanie, an intern for our church for the school year was litterally arriving that Saturday and the church didn’t have a home for her… and well we now had room, so in she moved 🙂
All that only brought us to the middle of the month when Kevin’s parents came for a visit, and I had my Bear encounter. Please tell me you saw my picture on Facebook. IT WAS A REAL, LIVE, HONEST TO GOD BLACK BEAR 30 ft. from me you guys… Seriously… INSANE MONTH! Who has bear encounters?
So that brings me to the trials/tribulations of re-letting a home 1100 miles away. We got an early bite on the ad. I was thrilled. That was until in my first conversation with the prospect alerted me to the felony record that would accompany them into the house, should I extend a contract to them. Yeah… That will pull you up short in a phone conversation. “A felony, huh, well I guess the next logical question would be what for?”, “Well my husband robbed two banks 5 years ago, he wasn’t armed, but our credit is now shot, and no one will give us a chance, I totally understand if you won’t either”. OUCH… she HAD to play the compassion card, I’m such a sucker for those. I told her I’d pray about it and let her know (this was not one of those, I’ll pray about its, so I can get you off the phone trying to be nice). I told God I’d move forward with this, and asked Him to make the prospects withdrawl themselves from the process if they were gonna screw me. Long story short, after probably about 50 e-mails, phone calls to the parole officer, their pastor, and about 20 other back ground checks, I sent them a contract… and wouldn’t ya’ know… they back out.
So now a week before the month runs out, I had no prospects, an empty house and a looming double mortgage/rent payment coming due? What does God do… He invites me (via my girlfriend) to spend a 5 days in Key West with Him and one of my nearest/dearest…. He’s a pretty cool guy 😉 (A smidge of a lie, I bought the plane ticket, the day before our prospects backed out… so in my defense, I did think I had tenants when I spent the money).
So we FINALLY brought August to an end, and did so with no tenant…. until today! 🙂 I’m not gonna lie, I am SO not a fan of the sweating it out method that God seems to enjoy employing from time to time… Really not… gonna have a chat with Him about the logic behind that when I get to Heaven, and how many heart attacks may have resulted from such methods, and who’s fault those were, but I digress…. He did it, He found us the perfect tenants, who signed a TWO YEAR lease!!!
Christine Caine came and spoke at our church half-way through this month… I found it rather appropriate timing, as one of her points in her message is that our job is mearly to prepare, to just do what we can, when we can do it. She said God doesn’t start working until we’ve reached our impossible, if its possible and within our means we are expected to do it…. Well my impossible was Sept. 1st with no tenants… and wouldn’t ya’ know… He came through!
So yeah… crazy month, but with as stressful and unexpected as everything was, I wouldn’t have traded it. Sure, I might have choosen some things to work out differently, but this faith that I’ve been working on for the last two years was put to the test, and it held. I rather enjoy not going to pieces when it appears as though my life is doing just that. Waiting… Watching… Believing for something to come through, to work, and allowing a VERY broad range for what that will look like. The answers aren’t alwasy what I want, but there is reason to them, and when there doesn’t even seem to be reason, there is at least the adventure of the unexpected. If I had to pick between a life of expected, and the adventure of the unexpected, I want the latter….. Although should I end up dying of a stress induced heart attack, me and God are gonna have some words on the why behind that one! 😉