Close your eyes for a sec and imagine Goofy… Disney’s Goofy…. doing his memorable ‘guffaw, aw shucks, thanks guys’. I got THREE WHOLE COMMENTS…. From ONE blog?!? I think this might be a record for me, and has galvanized me to ramble on a little bit more ;). You may have unknowingly released a monster, but history proves, my bursts are rarely sustained…. It’s like the puppy chasing his tail, totally focused until that damn squirrel interrupts his activity.
Because it’s January, and because for the last 6weeks I’ve likely averaged in the ballpark of 4000 calories per day (that could be low, but shame and an attempt to preserve self respect are forbidding me from postulating any higher), I’ve joined roughly 6 billion other American’s this week and am making my annual attempt at life style change for the better. How that manifests in my life is giving up my nightly binge after the kids go to bed (trying not to just move that to earlier in the day), and downloading the couch to 10K app on my phone.
My goal was to start today, as there was still leftover cheesecake in my fridge from our NYE party last night. Smart, nutriounisty, people try to argue the merit of throwing away said cheesecake. That simply doesn’t compute. Upon further investigation there is also half a gallon delicious ice cream still in the freezer and half a holiday chocolate collection from Godiva. These are currently the only things I can think about. I’m blogging at night, rather than sitting in my comfy stuffed chair with my sugary snack, celebrating my survival of another day. Desperate times friends.
Just about every time I commit to starting a work-out routine, the universe attempts to sandbag my efforts. You might think I’m being dramatic, but it’s legit. I psyched myself up with this running app, went to bed around 10:30 ready to start my day with a bang, and Selah starts squawking at 3:30am. Not just a few little squeaks, a full flegged I’m awake and WILL call your name until you come in here. She wore me down after 30 minutes. Finally an hour and a half later, I conceded the battle and slept on the couch in her room. An hour later I awake to the wall thumping. Caleb banging the wall downstairs as his way of summoning me to settle an argument between AJ and Logan. SIX A.M. People…. after crap sleep. If that wasn’t bad enough, after forgetting to get dinner out of the freezer, I open it up and the first thing I see are Omaha steak boxed meal my mom sent me with loaded twice baked potatoes and apple turnover for dessert. My mouth was watering immediately. Not Cool.
This was day one though, and I’m fully committed to FINALLY giving up my maternity bathing suit…. the summer my daughter turns 2. Caleb turns 9 this summer…. so basically I’m on the 9 months to put it on…. 9 years to take it off plan. I even tried to hide the app from Kevin because I’m so embarrassed by how truly TERRIBLE I have been at sticking to any of these plans. The plan is 14 wks, which perfectly butts up against this incredible trip to the Caribbean we have planned, a barefoot cruise on a ~50′ Catermerann (sp?) with my inlaws. EEEEEKKKK I’m beyond excited for that and already counting down the days…. 100 and counting! The way I see it, if (when) I stick to the plan, I’ll shimmy out of these winter weather layers and reveal a nice toned beach bod (dear Lord help me), but if my discipline wanes again, Kevin wouldn’t know I’d tried and I wouldn’t have to own up to yet another failure.
Why’s it gotta be SO. DANG. HARD? I mean really…. after listening to kids moan, groan, and complain about every last detail of their existence…. I feel like the glass of wine and/or sugary snack and mindless T.V. at the end of the day is that ‘atta girl, go ahead and take a load off, enjoy, you deserve this’. Rather than engaging in mental warfare or going to bed at 8pm, just so I can try not to think about how BADLY I want to grab a spoon and that ice cream right this very minute. Then tack on finding an additional 3-4hrs a week to squeeze in these work-outs, its like double whammy. Do more, enjoy less. Trying to navigate this season is always a trick for me, because in reality I’m trying to live the mantra “Enjoy more, DO less”. It seems like I’m trying to jump through some hoop the worlds tricking me into, because I can’t be happy with this wiggly jiggle body I’ve got. Maybe when I finally make peace in this area, whatever that looks like, I’ll be one step closer to Finding Free, and finishing my book. Maybe.
Either way, today I did it. We’ll see what tomorrow holds.