I’m taking a few Regent classes this fall again, through the Leadership Institute our church has, and I busted out laughing at our homework question for the day. This weeks reading had to do with discovering our true, God-given selves, and living lives that complement that self, using the gifts God gives us, and staying within the boundaries/limits He imposes.
My true self, is an extreme extrovert. My element is surrounded by people, coordinating events, hosting things, creating community, listening to people’s life story and connecting with them through my own. I love order and process. So living under house arrest as an employee from home, while surrounded by the constant chaos of three kids 5 and under, and being called to home school, seems about as polar opposite from my ‘true self’ as one could get.
The reading gave ‘some warning signs that indicated we might be straying from the center of God’s will for our lives’:
According to those warning signs, I would be tempted to draw the conclusion that God and I were no longer even on the same map, let alone anywhere NEAR center. I always knew I was a few degree’s left of center 😉 However, I also know God has placed me here in this season of life, blessed me with the same wonderful family that engenders all those crazy feelings, and is using ALL of it to perfect the work He began in me.
But seriously…. I would love to meet the mother of young children that would not say yes, to close to 90% if not the full 100% (like me) of the things on this list. Anxious….. It’s relative. I have peace, that ultimately it’s God’s plan for their/my lives, and I’m just stewarding the gifts He’s given me to the best of my ability. However, when you read Mark 9:42, tell me you don’t gulp just a little, praying to God you don’t cause your kids to stumble through your own short comings. It’s like a mafia hit or something… mill stone around the neck and tossed into the sea…. hello Jersey & the East River?!?
Rushing/Hurrying/Doing to many things….. I’m pretty sure that is the definition of Motherhood, as defined by Urban Dictionary.
My body is in a knot…. every single day, when the baby is sleeping and a loud noise inevitably crashes through the house…. so the ENTIRE nap time as both older boys play WAR.
Fully present…. yes of course, I’m fully present, as my children interrupt me 46 times an hour.
Irritable about the simple tasks of life…. Nothing is simple with small children… ESPECIALLY the line at the supermarket.
Driving too fast…. no I prefer to go the speed limit, while the infant is losing his ever loving mind in his car seat, because some one poked him, or hit him with a flying object that the other two were tossing about.
Skimming over my time with God…. This one is a hit or miss… time in His word…. skimming is likely accurate…. however we are in constant conversation throughout the day, as I mumble “Help me Jesus”, or ask for direction in which of the 37 tasks I could complete is the one I should actually do next.
The assignment did provide some interesting food for thought though, after I got past the uncontrolled giggle fest. Too often I’m tempted to focus on the ‘fun’ parts of God’s Word, His Grace, His desire for Good in our lives. I want to believe that if its tough, if it hurts, if I don’t want to do it…. I shouldn’t have to, I mean God wants me to be happy right? It’s not as sexy to read the parts of getting refined by fire, about the trials He guarantees we’ll face. That’s what helps me remember, that His happy…. is an eternal Happy. The happy that comes from succeeding at something that was insanely difficult…. a life well lived. Raising kids is HARD, pouring into your marriage can be hard, but at the end of the day, doing so day after day, year after year…. will be the thing that gets me to the end of my life, satisfied with a life well lived.