Beth Moore is a trip! She embodies all mannerisms of a Texas woman, and I can confidently say that, having lived in that wonderful state for 8 years. She has BIG hair, and a BOLD attitude, and pours that southern charm all over her ‘girlfriends’, ‘sweet-thangs’, or whatever other term of endearment she assigns to you that day. I LOVE her. I love that she embraces her ‘obnoxious’ attitude (she called herself that), and doesn’t apologize for it, cause it gives me hope that my obnoxiousness, will someday have a purpose too!
Ya’ll know I’ve been doing her Breaking Free Bible study with some of my own girlfriends for the last 10 weeks now. So we’ve gotten schooled in all manner of Beth-isms, I even managed to execute a spoof skit of Beth… time will tell if I will ever post it to the web for the world to see. I turned 6 shades of red, and was sweating profusely, when it aired at church as is, so my You Tube premier may have to wait.
My good friend Beth called me out last night. She has a funny way of doing that… just after calling you sweet heart… it takes the sting off that way I guess. We only have 3 weeks of class left with her, so I guess it was about time. The week’s study was on God’s Unfailing Love, and why so many of us struggle to believe that he’s over the moon in love with us… not the well he has to love us we’re his ‘children’ love, but like ewwy, gooey, goodness love.
I was hanging with her as she explained love not being a feeling but a choice, one we have to consciously choose over and over. I get that. Being married, having kids, it’s taught me what making that choice looks like. Luckily, with my amazing men, it doesn’t often come to a choice, loving them has been easy and awesome. I have them here with me though. I can feel their love in their sweet hugs and kisses, hear their sweet “I love you’s”, and see their beautiful smiles and faces filled with content.
Then Beth laid it on in her smooth southern drawl, saying “Girlfriend, do you feel that same love for your Father in Heaven, or do you just respect him? Cause sweetheart, you can respect your boss, but that don’t mean your gonna take him out to coffee weekly.”
She said it so nicely, I almost missed the gut punch.
It totally made sense as she explained it. When you Loooooooove someone (yes, that’s how I said love as a 6th grader, when I was calling a friend out for having a crush on a guy), you’ll do all manner of idiotic things in the name of love. I had PLENTY of people telling me prior to marrying Kev, that we should just wait for him to make it through school, and THEN get married. Obviously, in my totally mature 21 year old state, I knew better. Our love was ‘different’, they just didn’t know that. I’m not saying I wished I would have waited, but I will concede our ‘love’ may not have been as different as I thought, cause it was H-A-R-D, and we made so many mistakes and hurt each other along the way, but we are now stronger for it.
When you love someone you stick with them when the going gets tough, because that love makes obedience to them, and perseverance through the tough times easier.
I’m not there yet with God. I want to be, but I’m not. I think he’s cool. I respect Him. But total adoration, all consuming love… I’m still stuck on that side where I think he wants me to do a WHOLE lotta work, and its not really fun. I’m trying, cause like I said I respect him… and even though I’m not supposed to think of him with his thumb over me ready to squash me if I don’t, that fear of the Lord thing being the beginning of wisdom makes sense… cause I’m not being a total moron anymore, but being honest its not quite motivated by love yet. Love your enemy… that’s not a concept you pick up over night…. Someone cuts me off in traffic, my initial reaction is not to bless that sweet soul. Knowing people talk smack (yes smack) behind my back, doesn’t really evoke the desire to say a prayer for them… you catch my drift. Thank goodness Beth, in her divinely appointed wisdom, quickly confirmed that it’s o.k if we’re not currently swimming in pools of blissed out love toward God, else I may have chucked the whole thing right there.
I’m not the most patient person. I thought my boys were God’s special plan to help me work on that, but apparently they were just prep for me working on my relationship with Him. I keep repeating in my head ‘all good things come to those who wait’, and being motivated by my beautiful friends that surround me, lounging in their blissed out pools, telling me the water feels great. I feel like I’ve jumped, but am suspended in mid-air now, and I just get to wait on God to release whatever he’s planning for his big splash. Annoying…. but I suppose a perk to any cyber-stalkers that follow my ramblings, cause when the pieces finally come together ya’ll will be among the first to know 🙂
P.S. Stalking is creepy… you should just ‘follow’ so I don’t have to guess. Looks like Beth’s not the only one calling people out today 😉