Oops…. We did it Again!

So the news is officially out, (and no it wasn’t an oops…. but you’re in for a treat in just a minute…. It’s Brittany Bitches).   Ya’ know when you have something on your mind, but want to wait for the right time to tell, so you can barely open your mouth about anything cause it’s just gonna fall out???  Well that’s where I lived for the past 12 weeks.  12wks ago, I sat down to write a blog as we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary, already overwhelmed by all that had occurred in 1o years, and oblivious to new life growing.  (Clearly that didn’t get posted, I’m pretty sure I got distracted with mindless T.V.)

Two weeks after that, my brain exploded.


When I say my brain exploded, that does not imply it wasn’t somewhat expected.  We were playing fast and loose, and this isn’t our first rodeo.  Trying might be a stretch, especially if you asked Kevin.  He’s convinced I seduced him, though its a hard argument to win with so much physical proof walking around indicating he’s acutely aware at how this all works :)…. and let’s be honest….. Show me a mom of three young children that has the energy to seduce ANYONE?!

No, it wasn’t shock or surprise really that the test turned up positive, rather the immediate feeling and peace that this is it.  God willing, this will be the last home grown Alspaugh to join the mix.  So I wanted to wait and enjoy the weeks slowing spreading the news, savoring each response.  I made the mistake of explaining that to Kevin saying “well, this will probably be the last time I ever get to announce this news….”, he cut me off mid-sentence with “you mean this is DEFINITELY the last time you will get to announce this news.”    As I contemplated ways to announce, Halloween just sounded fun, and the idea of being wrapped as a mummy came to mind, but the idea I wish I REALLY could have pulled off, but lacked all resources and energy to put together, was a music video parody of Brittany’s “Oops I did it again”.  Something about a cheesy cell phone video hack job made that quickly lose its appeal, but I thought the lyrics I came up with were pretty funny!   I’m mean…. it IS Brittany…. and we’re CLEARLY very reverent about ALL things!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think we did it again
We made a baby, we’re more than crazy
Oh baby. Yes, it might seem like too much
But it doesn’t mean that I’m not serious
‘Cause we’ve lost all our senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

Oops! We did it again
We played with our parts (hehe), got lost in the game
and now there’s a baby, Baby
Woohoo! I know I’m in love
This angel is sent from above
So sweet and innocent

You see my problem is this
I’m dreaming away
Wishing that messes, truly didn’t exist
I’m dazed, watching the days
Realizing, I’m crazy in so many ways
But who needs all their senses?
When they get to welcome a new baby, oh


It’s not so much a Oops! We did it again
We played with our parts, got lost in the game
and now there’s a baby, Baby
Woohoo! I know I’m in love
This angel is sent from above
So sweet and innocent

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

All aboard
Kevin, before you go, there’s something I need to tell you.
Oh, what’s that? But wait a minute, isn’t this?
Yeah, yes it is
But I thought….. holy crap…. are you sure?
Well baby, God decided to give us another!
I need a beer.  (*If I could post the video, you’d see this is about exactly how it went down)

It wasn’t a Oops! We did it again
We played with our parts, got lost in the game
and now there’s a baby, Baby
Woohoo! I know I’m in love
This angel is sent from above
So sweet and innocent!

Seriously I’m stuck in middle school… I laugh every time, about playing with parts…. so wrong, but so ridiculously right too!

I’ve read some blogs about women mourning the passing of this season, but thankfully my experience has been quite the opposite.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s been an amazing/surreal ride having the blessing and privilege of co-creating 4 tiny humans with the creator of the Universe Himself.  However, if we make it to a year nursing the newest little, it will also have dominated the better part of NINE YEARS of my life, growing and nursing tiny humans…. I’m good with that, but I’m also ready to see what’s next!     (The crazy part, is knowing I feel done, but also knowing I wouldn’t be devastated if there was a legit ‘o0ps’ some time before that really LONG awkward delay oops…. like when your youngest is 16…. aint nobody got time for that…. seriously God, this is not an invitation for a divine prank!)

I’ve also made my peace with the idea of 4 boys, we weren’t ‘trying’ for a girl.  I knew I wouldn’t even try (or play fast/loose) at all unless I knew deep down I was good with whatever we got.  Sure, a girl would be an incredible surprise, and would satisfy that curiosity I have about what a girl version of Kevin and I would actually even look like.  When it came down to it though, each of the boys are so different, I just wanted to meet one more personality, see what kinda spice this one adds to our crazy mix!

When you find out your pregnant with your fourth, its not so much…. the wow, what is this going to look like, and more like…. I kinda know what this might look like, and has allowed me to prepare mentally just a ‘little’ better for it.   I know enough now, to know that I DON’T know anything, and that is both exciting and terrifying when I think about the ENDLESS possibilities that accompany new life.  I know enough now, to NOT underestimate the enormity that is accepting a new life, with ALL its unique nuances, strengths, and weaknesses, and committing to love it forever unconditionally.  I finally realize this is the hardest work I will ever do in my life, not raising small children (though, OH MY GOD), but working to understand WHO these people are, what they were created for, and what my role is in supporting that.

With that line of thinking, to me, its not so much about having a child, but understanding my own capacity to love and having a desire to see it stretched.  God has used my own children to teach me something I’m not sure I could have learned otherwise.  Being able to SEE the miracle before me of what I got to help create, provided the grace I needed to accommodate the incredible demands that come with loving another unconditionally.   When its inconvenient, when I’m tired or sick, when THEY are tired or sick, working through the process of establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries, and seeing them for them, not who I want them to be, or think they could be.  Then continuing to do that for each of them individually as their needs can often compete or clash entirely.

For those reading closely, you likely picked up on the subtle acknowledgment that I only referred to this being the last ‘home grown’ Alspaugh.  I have no idea what our future will look like, but what God has taught me most through this process is that when you choose to love someone, you often have NO IDEA what you are getting yourself into before you make that choice, yet it remains the single most trans-formative choice I’ve ever made…. and also the greatest adventure.  So no, I can’t image (with hopefully a very long life still ahead of me), that I’ve reached capacity on my ability to love, or the adventure of seeing lives transformed is over.  But I’m thankful for the understanding I’ve gained over the course of these last 10 years building a family that you cannot offer love cheaply…. Kindness can be extended to anyone with little residual impact.  Grace, mercy, and forgiveness, can all be offered on an as needed basis to individuals we encounter in our circles of life, but it is love that is intended for a life time.  Love is not something to be extended and then rescinded based on performance, or acceptance, it is a choice to be made once and then lived out, come what may.  Yes, there is a hefty cost associated with it, but I’m learning year by year, when I don’t feel like I’ve got anything left to give, is exactly when I experience God’s power the most.  That’s been my transformation, when I run out of steam, patience, etc…, He’s been there, and His grace is sufficient.  Day by day it keeps working.  

My prayer as we excitedly anticipate the arrival of this new little one, is that God helps us do this well.  As we stretch (literally and figuratively) to make room for new life in our family, I’m praying that God will work in the heart of each individual, helping each of us to see, that more will never mean less.  Another person to love, will never mean there is less love to go around, or less resources to support our needs, that He will always provide, and that we’re putting our faith in Him, that He is able and sufficient to supplement our every need perfectly, no matter what that need is.


Thank y’all for your love and support and encouragement, we can’t WAIT to share this sweet new life with you!!!


  1. April F says:

    I love the way you write, and I so appreciate your perspective on life. Thanks for sharing and congratulations to you and Kevin, and the boys, on your upcoming addition!

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