Why do we expect people to be mind readers? Guilty as charged, just realizing to what extent this morning. As I proceed with my morning routine as normal, I found myself getting annoyed at the number of phone calls and text messages I was getting, thinking ‘sheesh people, I’m fine, let me get to work’. God had to thunk me on my forehead, that’s how I picture it occurring when I do something stupid. Massive God size index finger flexed to His thumb, and THUNK, right to the forehead. Other times, I picture it as a massive God sized hand extending down from Heaven and patting me lightly on the head, and He’s thinking awwww bless her heart, she really doesn’t know what she doing. I don’t know why they are massive in my imagination, but I also can’t explain why I expect His voice to sound like James Earl Jones either… I suppose the imagery just fits together like that in my brain.
He was nice enough to remind me, that we ALL have a fear of the unknown, and in this situation I just happen to KNOW I’m o.k.. However Mom, who has called 4 times in 2 days, is left watching news reports of rising tides, power outages, and downed trees. I love you mom 🙂 Although when we do talk 4 times in 2 days, I may only answer the phone now to say “Yes, we’re o.k, I love you, bye”.
Instead of our normal benediction at the end of service on Sunday, Pastor David reminded us all about Jesus calming the storm by simply saying “Peace, Be Still”. It’s crazy how fast irrational fears can take over a seemingly stable brain. Kinda puts the ‘taking thoughts captive’ verse into perspective REAL quick! Case in point, the other night, lying in bed… Kevin inches away, the recurring fear I have eeked its way into my brain: something catastrophic happening to Kevin or the boys. Tears spring to my eyes and spill over before I can even think of taking the thought captive. I find this to be horribly embarrassing, because explaining such lunacy to your husband is not fun.
Lucky for me the lights were off, so he couldn’t see my face, but I knew he knew, so in my most composed voice I said “Wanna know something ludicrous?” (When doing something crazy, its always best to lead with that, at least the other person understands then that you haven’t lost total connection with reality)
“Cause I don’t want anything to happen to you or the boys?”
“Were you planning to do something to us? Should I be scared?”
“Don’t you ever get worried about something happening to me?” (whenever I find myself stuck in a totally insane stream of thought, I do one of two things. First, try to convince the other person they are equally capable of insane breaks from reality)
“Not when you’re laying 3 inches away from me”
“You know ALL women think about these things, it can reduce us ALL to tears in an instant.” (When my first line of deflection doesn’t work, I immediately start making wild generalizations, lumping myself in the largest group of people possible… and quickly follow it up with humor) “Well, maybe only the happily married ones… you never know what us crazy women will come up with”.
“I love you”….
There are times when the slightly condescending, I think you are definitely crazy but wouldn’t dream of expressing that thought so I’ll say “I love you” instead…. can drive me up the wall. However, when you are actually being crazy, its the welcome exit from the conversation you were hoping for.
Peace Be Still. I have a feeling I will be reminding myself of this often, when I hitch a ride on the crazy express again. I may also put it to use in future natural disasters when I’m getting blown up with phone calls and text messages. Peace, be still peeps, God’s got us, we’re o.k.