I love my husband. I count my blessings daily that he is mine. That being said, the jealousy I feel toward him due to his innate ability to be asleep milliseconds after his head touches the pillow is hard to quantify. I’ve heard from multiple woman their husbands possess similar qualities, and take some solace knowing my plight is shared. However, on the sleepless nights that last longer than most, there’s still a tiny part of me that wants to play the ‘ol sleep over pranks on the poor unsuspecting soul that fell asleep first.
I’ve determined I’m likely an insomniac… the fact that multiple times a week it can take upwards of 2+ hours to actually fall asleep isn’t normal. I would like to use these extra hours to DO something when I can’t sleep, but when you know “The Truth about 768sq ft“, you understand that after me and the big guy have hashed over just about everything I can think of, I’ve come up with the grocery shopping list for the week in my head, worried about things that haven’t happened and then prayed some more to the big guy that they never will, and then written and re-written this blog in my head 10 times, the only thing left to do is sit in the dark living room and write it out in the hopes that not re-writing it for the 11th time in my head will help me fall-asleep.
It doesn’t help matters, or quell my urge to dip his hand in a bowl of warm water, when Kev tells me I can just train my body to sleep like him, that its really not that hard, I just need to focus. Really Kev? Really? How bout you remind me of that when you wake up in a labyrinth of twine, feathers, and honey….. Idea courtesy of the Parent Trap… The REAL Parent Trap (i.e. the Haley Mills edition… not the Lindsay Lohan edition).
I’ve tried focus… I used to say rosary’s on repeat, until the repetitiveness would wear me out… count backwards from 100, but my mind would always wander to a tangent somewhere in the 60’s and I’d have to start over. I’d continue to ask God to just let me fall asleep, and then midway through that conversation, I’d be on another tangent. I’ve tried a couple different sleeping pills, but then listened to too many crazy side affect stories to want to stay on them too long… Sure, some nights exhaustion finally wins out and I can be asleep 10-15 minutes after we get in bed, but those are much fewer and farther between.
So, I’ll head back to bed… Stare for an extended moment in jealousy at my peacefully sleeping husband, who never quite understands why I’m so lethargic in the morning when we ‘went to bed at the same time’, and start my routine over from the top. On a side note… one of the many positives of the new phone I’ve got now is not only can I check Facebook when all else fails, but now that I’ve found Angry Birds, I’ve got one more thing to do when I’m silently ‘sleeping’.