You ever have that feeling where you think what you are doing is totally logical, and everyone will understand… until you hear yourself explain it to someone else… sans a few key details… and you realize just how crazy it all sounds? Yeah… Me too!
I think I need to go a little deeper into the why, surrounding the current ‘craziness’ (as I’m sure some have deemed it already) I’ve decided to subject myself too.
By all accounts, Kevin and I lead a very blessed life. That doesn’t mean I don’t still hope and pray for things. Most recently our prayers have been directed at healing for Caleb, in the hopes his seizures will subside and we can avoid a long term drug as the solution. Along with prayers for my own family, I continue praying for God to answer a few prayers being asked by those I love.
When our church started explaining the concept behind the fast, one of the arguments (that obviously struck a chord with me), was to bring those things you cannot wrap your brain around in terms of finding a solution to, and give them up to God. Then use the time of prayer and fasting as a way to offer our faith in him that he will hear and answer our prayers.
So that was going all fine n’ dandy… until God decided he wanted to test my resolve! Hmm…. What could you be referring to Julie??? How about my boss, TOTALLY outta the blue, sending me a note explaining there was a little surplus in the travel budget for the quarter and he would like me to come down for some face to face time before the quarter ended (in case you missed the timing of this fast, it happens to coincide with my works quarter end, 2 weeks from now!).
(A glimpse into the inner workings of my mind) “Awesome! Man, I can’t wait to visit with all our friends we left behind, oh and the food… CHUY’S HERE I COME, and I think I’ll take that with a side of Salt Like BBQ… mmmm mmm good! What, I’m flying home on Saturday… guess that just means I’ll have to head out with the girls for some drinks on Friday night…. I should REALLY get this on Facebook so they know I’m coming to town and we can start coordinating!”
Does anyone else see a problem with the above little day dream I had???
While there may be sections for the Adkins Diet and Weight Watchers Diet on most restaurant menus now-a-days, I’m fairly certain I haven’t stumbled across any Daniel Fast menus recently! Not to mention, I felt like I was in the stone ages today when I sent a text to each of my friends individually trying to coordinate plans, vs posting to Facebook and managing from there!
So the question, quite literally, BEGS itself again: Why don’t you just cheat a little, curb the rules, stay good for the most part but give yourself a couple freebies? Don’t get me wrong, I am SERIOUSLY tempted…. But….
The way I see it, I’ve asked God to essentially HEAL Caleb and answer a secondary prayer, that myself along with quite a few others, have been putting before him for a really LONG time (not my prayer to share)… If both prayers were to be answered, the lives of those impacted would be changed forever.
I have a hard time justifying my right to ask something SO huge of him, if I can’t even honor him with a commitment I made that would span a mere 21 days. Put in that perspective… giving up a Chuychunga with a side of Salt Lick, in the hope that maybe by honoring him he will hear/answer the prayer I’ve put before him doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me.
What if he doesn’t answer it?
I tried. I didn’t just sit by and do nothing.
My question to you… What if he DOES?