This is what I imagine she would say…..
Hello friend. Welcome back. Those were a rough couple decades when you thought you could ditch me and try to be someone else. We aren’t so bad you and I…. a little exhuberant…. yes, but I’d rather you think of us as an aquired taste. Like some super expensive stinky cheese…. something the average person doesn’t understand, but to those willing to invest, it becomes a favorite treat.
You can thank me for your good fortune in the husband department. Here you were trying your hardest to be someone your not, and the whole time I was asking God to send an angel to keep us safe, you weren’t doing so hot there on your own. I hadn’t really specified physical characteristics, and after a few of those pictures I saw of us in High School… well I was concerned… we were goofy looking. I was pleasently suprised by the angel God chose. He’s Hot!
You know, me and God had lots of conversations about you. We were pretty sad when you lost touch with us, but we kept each other company, certain you would come looking for us again after awhile. Then God had this hilarious idea. Kids. You should have seen us, we were rolling around laughing at that one! God knew they would scare you half to death and get you to come looking for us. Man was He right! You should have seen your face when they put Cub on your chest. Hysterical!
You’re doing pretty good ya’ know. Room for improvement sure, but don’t be too hard on yourself. God’s been explaining to me just how hard kids really are. He explained that apart from staying in constant contact with Him, its rather impossible to raise them properly, something about ya’ll being just too selfish and prone to angry outbursts apart from Him. He’s really happy you’re figuring that out, and trusting Him to turn your kiddos into something great, He has some awesome plans for them, just you wait and see!
Overall, I think you’ve come along way. I proud of you for finally deciding to grow up, I’ve needed you to for quite sometime, its been hard being the more mature person… I am only a child afterall. Trust God, He really has been looking out for us since the beginning, He won’t lead you astry. Oh, and one more thing…. Do try and keep in mind, that while your maturity level is still close to mine, your metabolism isn’t. Remember that angel God gave us, the hot one, listen to him… work out… eat healthy, now that you’re starting to figure out this thing called life I can’t wait to experience it as we grow up! You and I, we were meant to be awesome!
**Obviously I was a bit confused by the original question…. implying that by getting older, we infact grow into an adult is a rather presumptious leap :). Sometimes, as evidence from my post, I think the adult stands to learn a lot from the child they tried to leave behind.**